Hell
by divergentrookie
Summary: My name is Talia. They call me Shadow. They've tortured me ever since I can remember. I can can finally escape. I can finally escape from their grasp.


**AN: I WAS WATCHING CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER WHEN I WONDERED WHAT WHOULD HAPPEN IF THERE WAS ANOTHER PERSON LIKE BUCKY. SO I KIND OF CREATED THIS ON THE SPOT. I DIDN'T EDIT THIS, SO IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES, I AM SORRY. BUT I WILL TRY MY BEST TO AVOID MAKING ANY.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT THE OC.**

"The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?" -Edgar Allan Poe

Over the years, I've learned one thing: Death is a gift that no one wants. Death stops all suffering. It became one gift I truly desire. I have tried to commit suicide. Multiple times. But they won't let me. They stop me before me before I can do any damage. They say I'm too valuable. But am I really?

My name is Talia. I am a Mossad officer. That is the one part of my past that I remember. They've tried to make me forget, but what can I say, I'm stubborn.

They call me Shadow. They named me after what I specialize in. Infiltration. I can infiltrate anyplace with my eyes closed. I do my job so well, that you wouldn't ever know that I was ever there. No one even knows that I even exist, except them.

HYDRA. Ever since they "killed" me, they have kept me prisoner and trained me to do their evil bidding. I don't enjoy it. I don't enjoy killing the innocents, but I have to in order to save them.

They kidnapped me when I was twenty four years old in 1982. I knows many years have passed, yet I look like the same twenty four year old I was back then. It probably has to do with the drugs they pump into me every day when I'm asleep. Anyway, I was on my way back to the Mossad base from my mission when I was shot in the shoulder, by a sniper in the building across the road. It was a clean through and through shot. I backed up against a building as I drew my service weapon and held it steadily in my right hand. I looked down at my shoulder. My black leather jacket was soaking wet in my blood. I banged my head against the wall. _Why? _Of all the places I could get shot, why did it have to be on the way home.

_Focus Talia, focus! _ I mentally slapped myself. Could ask these stupid questions later. I returned my gun to its holster as I slowly peeled my leather jacket off slowly making sure not to injure my shoulder any further. I wrapped it around my shoulder and tied a tight knot trying not to move my arm too much. Pain shot though me in bursts as the jacket pushed down onto my wound.

After a while, I reached for my gun again. I held it steadily in front of me as I stepped out from behind the wall. Within seconds, my gun was knocked out of my hands and my back was slammed into the wall. A wave of pain shot through me as I grunted.

The guy held me still with his forearm against my throat blocking my air passage. My body screamed for air. I reached for my knife at my waistband. I slowly pulled it out as the man looked away to search for someone.

Another man walked into the alley. He said something. I just saw his lips moved. The man turned back at me. I chose that very moment to drive my knife into his stomach.

He grunted in pain as he let me go. I crumbled to the ground as I gasped for air. Another wave of pain shot through me. It was stronger than the last one. I was exhausted. I could feel the beads of sweat slide down my face. I looked at my shoulder. My leather jacket turned into a dark shade of red. I was losing too much blood too fast. I wasn't going to last long at this rate of blood loss. Everything in front of me began to become blurry. My shoulder became a dull throb. Dark spot began to dance in my vision. I could feel my blood slide down my arm. Was this how death felt like?

I could faintly see the second man laughing as he walked towards my. I wasn't about to go without a fight. I reached for my ankle holster and sloppily held the gun in front of me and fired. I didn't see if it hit. I was out before I could. It was probably better that way. No more killing. I was tired of killing. I didn't want any more blood on my hands. I was stupid to think that that HYDRA would let an accomplished assassin like me die. The next time I woke up, I was in a lab hooked up to hundreds of different machines. I remember the first words said to me: "Welcome home Shadow." I knew right then that I was doomed.

***Hell***

There was another recruit that went through similar things like me, if not worse. He was in the system way linger than me. They call him the Winter Soldier. According to the rumors, he managed to escape. To escape HYDRA. I just wish I could be him. I just wish I could run away without looking back. Without enduring anymore torture.

I was strapped to a chair when my chance came. The scientists just finished wiping my memory of the last mission. I have always feared that machine. Whenever they tried to drag me to that machine, I would always try to escape. Eventually, they got tired of treating the injuries I caused to their agents, so they began sedating me prior to the procedure.

Whenever the machine turned on, the excruciating pain would wrack my body. Some days I would find myself screaming even after the machine was turned off. On better days, I would just cry until the pain dulls.

Today was one of the better days. I just finished crying when they came in. My head was bent forward. My mind still sore from the machine. And my throat was still sore from screaming. My long straight hair fell on both sides of my face. My eyes closed as I tried to catch my breath.

One of the HYDRA agents tugged at my hair so I would face him. He had this nasty smirk plastered on his face.

"Hello Shadow," he said as his smirk grew wider. I just narrowed my eyes at him. He slapped me. "When I say hello, you say hello. Understand? Okay, now let's try again. Hello Shadow." This time I spit in his face. This just earned me another slap.

Just then, his buddy decided to speak up, "Yo Mikey, leave it. She's not going to say it back. Whitehall wants her transferred, not dead. Let's go."

He listened to him. He let go of my hair and looked at my restraints. Before he unstrapped me, he punched me and effectively knocked me out.

***Hell***

A bump on the road woke me up. I felt cold metal around waist, neck, ankles, and wrists. Those bastards strapped me down. I looked to my right. No one. Good. That meant that both of the idiots were sitting in the front. I began moving my wrists around. I managed to slip them out of their restraints. Guess there are benefits in being extremely skinny. Next, I tried to get my feet out. After about five minutes, I managed to get them out. Now the hard part, my neck. I lifted my hands to meet the cold metal. I realized that it was a simple lock that stopped me from freeing my neck. I reached for the bobby pin that was in my hair. After a while, I managed to free my head. Now my waist. I was able to lift myself just enough to see that if was another lock. I made a quick work of the lock and I was free.

Just one more problem before I could walk away from all of this. The bastards. I snuck up behind the driver. I grabbed the switchblade that I hid in my boot and quickly slit his throat. A quick death. My last kill. The second guard was in shock. He didn't even stop me as I jumped out of the car. I didn't even look back as the car drove off a cliff. I was free. No more killing. No more running.

***Hell***

I walked far. I don't know where I'm headed. Guess I'll know where I'm going when I reach there. I walked for days. I walked through the day and all through the night. I can't remember the last time I slept. Honestly, I could die right now and I wouldn't care.

I reached a city. The people walked around not caring if they tripped someone, or if they pushed them into someone else. They were all dressed sharp and were on the phone. I walked around aimlessly until I saw a building. There was a single "A" hanging on at the top of the building. I made a beeline towards it. I wove through about hundred people I reached the entrance.

I stared at the entrance. What was I going to say? _Hey, I'm a HYDRA agent that defected. Do you know someone that I should talk to?_ This day just gets better.

I finally built up the courage to push open the doors and walked in.

"Hello, how may I help you?" a voice asked. _The hell! _I looked around. I didn't see anyone.

"Uh, can I meet your boss?" I asked uncertainly.

"Sure, can I have your name, please?" the voice asked again. _Where the heck is it coming from?_

"Talia, no last name."

"Okay, one second ma'am."

I looked around. There was a front desk, but no one was behind it. There was an elevator to the right of the front desk. I continued to look around until I heard a ding come from the elevator. I turned to see a guy brown hair, a mustache, and some form of a goatee walk towards me.

"Talia, no last name?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Great! So what made you wake up this morning and want to see such a handsome face today?" he asked.

I smirked. "Well, you see, my two friends decided to kick me out of the car, so I decided to come here and meet a real gentleman."

"Oh, I see, why don't we take this upstairs, I'm sure you're going to see quite a few 'real' gentlemen here," he responded with a smirk played at his lips. He led me into the elevator.

He pressed the button to the fifteenth floor and we both waited.

After a while the man turned to face me. He stuck out his hand. "Tony Stark."

I took his hand and gave it two firm shakes. "Talia, no last name."

"Well Talia, welcome to Avengers tower," he greeted.

The elevator opened and I was greeted by four people. A redhead chick, and four guys. "Talia, meet my housemates Nat, Banner, Clint, and Steve. Guys, meet Talia."

I politely smiled. "So what brings you here today?" the redhead asked.

"That's…classified," I responded.

"God, not you too. You sound like our boss. Please tell me he didn't send you," a man whined. He had a military cut.

"It depends who your boss is. I'm more like a rogue agent who just managed to escape her sorry excuse of a boss."

A short man narrowed his eyes. He had short, brown, curly hair. "You're HYDRA." He stated it like a fact. Like he saw right through me.

I shook my head. "I _was_ HYDRA."

"What if you're lying," the redhead asked.

"Then you kill me. Simple as that."

"Did you know Bucky?" the tallest of the three guys asked.

"I've heard of him. Never met him though. They keep the assassins separate so we won't cause any trouble, not like it stopped me from causing any," I responded.

"Clint, call Maria. Tell her that we have a…present for her," the redhead ordered.

"Nat, you can't be serious. I'm not…"

"Don't want to hear it, Barton. Call Maria now."

"Okay, doing it," the military cut dude said as he walked away.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the redhead try to land a round kick on me. I ducked. I swept her off of her feet as I stood up. I got into my defensive stance as Nat, I think, stood up. She lunged towards me as I quickly step sided. She was fast and extremely well trained. I went defensive for a while just watching her moves. After a few more failed attempts on landing a punch on me from her side, I went offensive. I grabbed arm and twisted it onto her back. I took my left hand and elbowed her temple. Immediately she crumbled to the ground. I stepped back immediately terrified of what I just did. "Tell me I didn't kill her," I whispered as I backed up towards the wall.

The tall guy walked towards the fallen women to check her pulse. He gave a sigh of relief. "She's alive." I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding.

I realized one thing. I was terrified of myself. Of what I was capable of.

"Where did you learn those moves?" Tony asked.

"Mossad and HYDRA," I responded as I stared at the fallen women.

"Why do you feel bad?" the tall guy asked.

"I gave up on killing a long time ago. I was tired of taking other people's lives even before I became HYDRA. Even while I was a Mossad officer I didn't want to kill. But it was my job, so I did it anyway. And then when HYDRA trained me to become their assassin, I didn't want to kill anyone of those people I killed. I had to. I had no choice. My last kill was during my escape. When I killed the two guards that were transferring to Whitehall."

"You didn't kill her." The guy countered.

I looked up for the redhead's body for the first time and my eyes narrowed onto that guy. "A little harder and I might've."

The elevator dinged again and a woman with shoulder length brown hair stepped out. She took in the scene set out in front of her. "Who did this?" she asked tiredly as if she saw this every day.

I stayed silent. I'm pretty sure she knew the answer to her own question. She turned to face me. "Do I have to handcuff you or are you going to come willingly?"

"No need for the handcuffs. Where are we going?" I asked.

"To see a colleague of mine," she said as she turned on her heel and walked back into the elevator.

***Hell***

I sat in the back of the car curled up sitting in the back of the SUV. I watched as the raindrops hit the window and slid down. One after another. Racing to see who would reached the bottom first. I smiled. It reminded me of my childhood. My half-brother, Ilai, and I used to race each other everywhere. Our parents called us little rockets, in Hebrew of course. We used to run everywhere together. Never stopped. Never felt tired. We never grew up. If only I could go back in time. When I didn't have to kill an innocent just so I didn't endure any more torture than I could ever handle. I am selfish. I kill so I don't feel pain.

What kind of pain do I cause to the families of the victims? No. I know what pain I caused them. I ripped a part of their soul away. I ripped it out slowly. First they're in shock. Then in denial. They can't believe that their loved one is gone. They resist. Then after a few painful years, they accept the truth. That there is a part of them that they will never get back. I don't have to imagine it. I've lived through it. The death of my father. I remember that I broke to pieces when a fellow Mossad officer came to my house and told me that my father died in a mission. Years have passed and I still try to remember his voice, but it fades more and more each day.

"We're here," Agent Hill stated. I looked at her. She stared at me through the rearview mirror. I nodded. I knew what I was getting into the moment I stepped into that building and identified myself as a former HYDRA agent.

I stepped out of the car and looked around. We stopped in front of a base. The grey building surrounded me. It held me in like a cage animal. I knew right then that there was nowhere to run. If I died right here, no one would ever know that I existed. And I'm fine with that.

I turned to Agent Hill again. She beckoned me forward. A man stood behind her along with two Asian women. I cautiously walked closer to them eyeing the three of them carefully.

"Talia, these are agents Coulson, May, and Skye. They will…take care of you," Maria said.

"In order words, torture me for information. I will give them to you gladly, but if you must use torture then go ahead. I've had my fair share already," I responded easily.

"Not necessarily," the older agent responded.

I looked pointedly at her. "Really?"

"Only if you do not answer the question truthfully," she amended.

I smirked. "Well then, what do you want to know?"

***Hell***

After Agent Skye asked me a series of questions to which I did not know any of the answers to, she decided it was time for me to meet my roommate. How delightful. Agent May took the liberty to lead me to my "room".

When we descended the stairs, I saw a man sitting on a tiny bed. He was tall. Roughly six feet. As we reached the bottom, he stood up and walked up to the yellow line drawn on the floor.

"May who is she?" he asked.

"Your new roommate," she answered promptly. "Ward step away, I'm putting down the guard." The man stepped back still in shock of having a roommate, let alone, a woman.

As Agent May pressed a few buttons on an iPad, an invisible wall went down. She quickly, and very roughly if I may add, pushed me in and brought the wall back up.

"Tomorrow we'll bring in another bed in for you. Today you two are going to have to manage," she said while looking at me. After a few seconds, she left.

I turned around and stuck out my hand. "Talia."

"Ward," he responded. "So, you take the bed I guess, uh…"he began to stutter.

"What you never shared a room with a woman before?" I teased. "This is technically your room after all. I'm going to sleep on the floor."

"But…" he began.

"Dude seriously, I'm the one intruding. Take the bed and quite arguing with me," I snapped.

"Okay, I'm taking the bed," he said as he raised his hands in surrender and walked towards the bed.

"Good." I went to the far end of the room and took off my jacket and placed it on the floor. I laid down on my jacket closing my eyes and an endless sleep took me over.

***Hell***

The next morning I woke up at 0400. There was no clock in here, but my internal clock sent the birds screaming in my ears. I sat up and tried to wipe the sleepiness out of my eyes. That was the most peaceful slumber I have ever had in years.

I stood up and took off my shirt. I have nothing else to do. Might as well work out right? I began doing push-ups and crunches. I didn't know how much time has passed but, the next thing I knew, Ward was waking up.

"Good morning sleepyhead," I greeted.

"You're awake already? When did you wake up?" he asked.

"0400."

"And Skye says that I wake up early," he mumbled.

"So, you seem like a guy who can fight. Want to spar?" I asked.

He smirked. "I'll try not to hurt you."

"You wish." With that I threw the first punch which he easily deflected.

We went at it like this for a while before I got bored of this, I decided to pull a move my father taught me. I turned and ran towards the wall. I jumped, bounced off the wall, did a flip, latched my legs around his neck, pulled him down, and pinned him to the ground. My legs placed on either side of his waist and both of his arms above his head.

"You ready to give up yet?" I asked.

"I held back," he responded.

I chuckled. "Of course you did," I said as I helped him up.

"Hey, got to keep my reputation right?"

"I guess. After all, no one would want to have the fact of being beat by a girl in their file now would they?"

"So what do you want to do?" he asked.

"Twenty questions?" I suggested.

"Sure. Favorite book."

"That's a tough one. I'll have to say…Saint by Ted Dekker. You?" I asked.

"The Forgotten 500 by Gregory A, Freeman."

We continued this until Agent Skye came thundering down the stairs. She was battered and bruised. She had a long bruise around her neck as if someone had her in a chokehold. She had a black eye and her right arm was in a cast.

"Both of you say that you left HYDRA. Prove it." With that she let us out.

***Hell***

Ward and I suited up. I put in my last gun in my holster while Ward finished strapping up his vest.

"You good?" I asked.

He nodded. "You plan on killing Whitehall yourself or should I?"

"I made a vow. No more killing. Only knocking them out. Or paralyzing them if necessary," I stated.

"Okay then. Let's go," he said as he put his last gun in his holster.

Together we stepped out of the base and into an SUV. Ward in the driver's seat and me in the passenger's. We were about to drive away when Coulson tapped the car window. I rolled the window down.

"We're trusting you, so you better do as ordered. If you ran back to HYDRA we will find you," he said with an edge in his voice.

"We left HYDRA for a reason. We're not planning on going back anytime soon," I responded for the both of us.

"Good." Coulson walked away leaving us to stare at his retreating figure.

Ward turned on the ignition and we drove off to the HYDRA headquarters.

***Hell***

"So we going in quiet or loud?" he asked as he watched me look over my weapons and ammo.

"Quiet. They have many trained agents. Many are extremely well-trained. We have a better chance of taking more of them out at once if we going in quietly than we do if we go in with a huge bang," I reasoned.

"Okay. Entry and exit strategy?"

"Roof. Easy access in and out. Most likely less guarded."

"You know, you seem smarter than you look," he commented.

"So you're saying that you thought I was stupid," I stated unsurprised. This wasn't the first time someone underestimated. It gets annoying after a while.

"I've learned not to judge people by their looks a long time ago," he responded as he stepped out of the car and began jogging towards the HYDRA base. Soon after, I followed. Word ran towards the building whereas I ran towards the building next to it. I slowed my pace into a walk as I entered the building. I shook my long, wavy, brown hair out of its high ponytail. I walked towards the front desk. A man in his mid-thirties looked up and stopped what he was doing.

His smirk grew larger as I walked closer. I put on a believable fake smile. I leaned over the desk to show a little cleavage, hopefully his attention will be on my breasts rather than on my face. His eyes immediately began ogling my breasts.

"Hey," I said seductively. "Is there any way I can see Mr…" I briefly looked at the sign hanging on the wall. Apparently the building was owned by a Mr. Morgan White. "White."

"Well, darling I can take you there," he responded quickly.

"Well, honey, I don't think Morgan up there would like someone stealing his girl, now would he," I said faking concern.

"No ma'am. Would you like me to call him up?" he asked.

"No, I want my visit to be a surprise after all." I swiftly walked away not wanting to talk to that pervert anymore.

I headed to the elevators and rode up the top floor. I threw my hair up in a lazy bun and kept my head down and walked out once the doors opened. A man on a suit walked into the elevator talking on his cell phone, quite loudly if I may add.

I navigated my way around the floor trying to find the roof access careful to avoid all cameras. I found it. It was next to the stairs.

I quickly climbed up the stairs and reached the roof. I looked around looking for the roof of the HYDRA base. I would've found it if only my long hair didn't keep on slapping my face because of the wind. I ran to the edge to assess the distance I would have to jump from this roof to the other. It wasn't that far, I could definitely jump it.

I looked down to see Ward still attempting to climb the building. He looked up to see me already on a roof.

I smirked and waved at him. In return he shot a scowl at me. I took ten steps back and ran to the edge. I don't remember the last time I jumped off a roof before. As my feet left the ground, I felt…free. Truly free. The kind you only feel when you die. I guess flying is the same as dying. Just without the no breathing part.

When my feet hit the roof, I did a quick somersault and landed in a weird sitting position where one of my knees were on the ground while the other was off the ground and closer to my chest. I stood up cautiously making sure that there weren't any HYDRA agents around. There were none.

I walked back to where Ward was attempting to climb the side of the building and going unnoticed. If the agents didn't see a man-spider crawling up their building, then they probably wouldn't even notice if a spaceship was headed straight towards them.

I waited 'till he was a foot away from the edge before I laid down and offered him my arm. He quickly grabbed it and I pulled him up with a lot of effort. He sat down trying to catch his breath.

He looked up and glared at me. "I hate you."

I smirked. "For what, beating you to the roof or making Agent Grant Ward realize that he can't climb up a wall with a woman's help?" I asked innocently. He shot another glare at me as I helped him stand up.

Before I could turn around, the sound of a gun going off rang through the air. I saw Ward draw his icer and pull the trigger just as a bullet tore through my shoulder blade. "Dammit!" I swore under my breath. I turned around and drew my gun. There were five HYDRA agents firing at us. I fired as I ran towards cover behind an industrial fan. I looked to my right to see Ward still firing his gun.

"Ward," I called his name. I turned his head towards me. "Cover me," I yelled over the gunshots. He nodded as he resumed firing at the HYDRA agents. I ran quickly and slipped behind one of the agents.

I slowly wrapped my cold hands around his head and yanked him backwards away from the fireworks. He tried struggling, but he remained in place. I leaned up to whisper in his ear two words before I knocked him unconscious. "I'm sorry."

Those two words rang through my head. Two simple words that meant so much to me. Two words that I said that made me realize something. Earth was made to house people like me. Killing machines. And to house the innocent. The children down on the ground running around oblivious to the fire fight going on above them. It is our decision what to do with our training. I guess I chose to protect the innocent. The ones who can't protect themselves.

I slipped behind another one and another one before I took care of all of them.

Ward came out from behind the industrial fan which I was hiding behind. Our eyes met and I nodded towards which he returned. With that, we went our different ways. He was going to take care of security while I took care of Whitehall. I ran down the stairs not caring if Whitehall saw me coming for him. At least he'll know that his end was coming.

I reached his office. It was unguarded out front. He probably called all of his agents inside to "protect" him and see what his pet project was capable of.

I kicked the door and it swung open. I was met with ten machine guns pointed at my face. I put my hands up in surrender as one of the agents put his gun down and came to check me of any weapons. As soon as he came in of arm distance, I did a round kick knocking him out. The others began firing all of which I successfully managed to dodge. I swept some off their feet and knocked them out. Others, I punched out quickly. Few moments later, all of the agents were down except Whitehall.

I turned to glare at him. I was met with a 9 caliber gun staring at my face. He had an evil smirk playing at his lips. "Hello…Shadow is it?" he asked teasingly.

"Go to hell," I replied. I grabbed his arm and quickly disarmed him. I pointed his gun right back at him.

If anything, his smirk just got bigger.

"Who in their right minds would trust you with this shot?" Whitehall asked with a chuckle.

"The same people who want you dead." With that I fired the shot. Anything. But I don't. I don't know why, but I don't. Maybe killing has become a second instinct to me. Something I have learned to do without question. I have to stop killing. I know I have to. My father did tell while I was training for Mossad that the one day I don't feel anything after I kill is the day I should hang up my badge. If I don't…well I won't be able to stop. That I will begin killing without mercy. That is the one thing, above all things, I feared the most. That moment would define my humanity. The day I didn't feel bad for taking one's life. I guess I lost a piece of my humanity every time I killed. I guess I just gave away my last piece of humanity. At least it was for a good cause.

Ward broke down the door which closed sometime during the fight and entered. His eyes immediately found Whitehall's body.

I turned to face him. "He's dead," I answered the silent question.

Ward looked up. "You're vow…"

"I broke it," I finished for him. With that I walked out of the room and never looked back.

_Please Review! I've never done a story like this before! Please! If you guys don't like it, I'll take it down! Please review!_


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